Once a flashy tourist destination for Cambodian’s and the French in the 1900’s – 1960’s, Kep and its luxurious mansions were later destroyed by the Khmer Rouge.

Today, Kep is the undeveloped and serene St. Tropez of Cambodia. Small bars stretch along the ocean serving fresh crab and a handful of secluded islands lie in the distance enticing you to spend a day snorkeling and sunbathing.

Shot with a Kodak Zi8

Morgane Veronique Richardson, Writer/Editor

“Who am I?” and “What do I want?” are the questions that invade the minds of all the twenty-something’s I know.

After four years of college, we leave with more questions about who we are then when we started. All that defined us slowly shifts and the people we love transform.

Many of us travel around the world in search of the answers only to find them in the most unusual and unexpected places.  Yet we need the chance to step away from our homes in order to pay attention to the solution.

For me, that took flying out to visit a close friend in Cambodia where I realized that I had lost her and gained a better understand of myself in return. What started out as a casual escape, ended in a world of self-discovery.

Letting her go was difficult, but I gained something more. I gained an appreciation of myself and the decisions that I have made.

And so, I boarded the plane for Thailand alone, with butterflies in my stomach, but proud of the decisions we had both made. And let me tell you… Thailand as a twenty-something woman flying solo was breathtaking… but I’ll divulge later (the pictures is a “sneak-peek”).

Oh, and who am I?…

I am a compassionate womyns rights advocate and a queer woman of color who finds pain in staying still and believes in a womyns right to choose (everything).

My host was bitter about the political state of Cambodia (and rightfully so), but also about everything that I had just flown out to inevitably see… from the insurgence of Korean tourists, to the way Cambodians drive and my desire to talk to everyone rather than relax on vacation.

There were very little positive remarks about the place I had flown half way across the world, and spent the remainder of my meager salary, to visit.

Though I have always known her to be a sarcastic and borderline cynical woman, she was my “best-friend.” My host was also incredibly generous, intelligent, remarkably fun and a strong woman whom I respected and enjoyed having in my life.

Oddly enough, I wasn’t expecting this drastic change in my friend.  I knew of and respected her development from the “wife” of Howard Dean to the pro-life, libertarian and (soon-to-be) Orthodox Jewish woman she is today. I was proud that I could maintain a friendship with someone who believed in almost everything I fought against. We were more than our political views…

Yet I was naive and didn’t realize that spending a few weeks with her would be different from having Sunday brunch once in a blue moon.

Were we “best-friends” or simply show-off brunch buddies every five months?

But this is not about my host or our personal relationship. Our interactions only acted as the door that led me something great:

I was slowly starting to realize that I had changed as well.  I had become peppy, overly optimistic, incredibly sensitive and passionate about everything I believed to be right (I don’t use those last adjectives lightly. It has taken me a long time to accept and embrace these characteristics).

As you can imagine, it is difficult to travel and avoid seeing a place through the eyes of your host.

And yet, I tried my best to push aside her negative views and learn about this country and myself, in a positive light.

And I saw it.

I saw the incredible endurance of a people and the possibility for change.

Within myself I found an inner strength to walk away from the pessimism that once allowed me to hide from the nitty gritty truth.

My twenty-something ass grew up in Cambodia.

Angkor Wat, one of the seven man-made travel wonders of the world, is a must-see if you find yourself in Cambodia.

If you are running on a budget but don’t feel like walking or taking a bike, the best way to visit Angkor Wat is via tuck tuck. For $15/day a tuck tuck driver will take you around the temples. If you hit it off, he may even take photos of you and give you a tour.

Visiting with a little extra money? Ask your hotel to set you up with an elephant, hot air balloon or go via helicopter.

To visit Angkor Wat you may purchase a day ticket for $20, three day (consecutive) pass for $40 and a three-day pass (valid for one week) for $60.

TIP: Frugal travelers, I would strongly advise purchasing a day-pass and just spend sunrise to sunset at Angkor Wat. Make sure to make a list of the temples that you would like to see most and cut out those you don’t care about. Though the temples are wonderful, they do become monotonous after a while so you won’t be missing out on much.

If Angkor Wat is on your list, I suggest you end the circuit with this famous temple in order to beat the crowds. In this manner, you will have the luxury of walking with fewer tourists.

If you happen to be traveling alone, a whole day at the temples without talking to anyone can be difficult. I found that listening to my iPod while examining the architecture was a serene way to focus my attention. It also gave me space to think and reflect on my experiences in Cambodia.

Rusted iron beds lay dormant in sterile rooms as contraptions once used to torture millions of people at Tuol Sleng lay quietly on top.

Portraits of those executed line rooms – row after row.

I stumble down the wrong staircase and I find myself in an area closed off to the public. I quickly understand why.

In front of me lies a large pile of clothes simmering in the dust and blood of lives violently taken by the Khmer Rouge. Bits of old hair poke through the mass as I retain the desire to vomit.

How could people believe that communism will change the world for the better? I think about the people who have come in and out of my life who ferociously believe in a violent revolution. I fear what they can do with such hatred in their blood.

How do you make them understand? Let them see the thousands of innocent people in Cambodia whose faces have been burnt with acid in the name of the revolution… listen to the stories of those who watched their loved ones die right in front of their eyes.

How do I stop the people who are willing to commit the same crimes today?

On a bus ride to Kep, I sat next to a woman who graciously offered me water and fresh mangoes. Perhaps she was offering so that she could later ask me for anything I had (which she did, even for my Advil pills), but I could feel that her heart was genuine.  When she left to get off the bus I was looking in the other direction… she grabbed my shoulder to get my attention, smiled at me and made sure to wave goodbye.

The history of Cambodia does not seem to overshadow the happiness that its people exert. “These are people who will give you their last grain of rice,” said a recent traveling friend. And he is absolutely correct.

Today was one for the record books. School was fun, same as always. My kids are total smart asses and think it’s funny to call me Mom, because they know it creeps me out. I’ve asked them to stop a dozen times, first joking, then not so much, but I need to learn how to get mad at them, because they’re just too fricking cute. It’s all pretty harmless, and when they really act out, I know I’ll be able to bring the hammer down. One of my kids yelled at me for playing ball inside the classroom though, I don’t think I have to be concerned about controlling them.

The past few days my back has really been hurting. Today after work I had about two hours to kill before having dinner with some of my coworkers, so I went for a foot massage. It’s rare to find Khmer massage artists who are strong, and the woman who was doing my feet almost made me cry she was so strong. I was afraid to tell her to ease off, lest she become like the rest of her coworkers. When she finished I realized I still had 40 minutes to kill, so I asked for a half hour back massage. At the end, when she was finally able to crack my back, something I’ve been trying to do for days, I might have told her that I love her. And I might.

Adam and Lucy and I are the vegetarians of JPA, and we’ve been searching for a highly rated vegetarian restaurant that just opened a few months ago. Tonight was our third evening looking for it, and today, with Jam’s help, we finally found it. And it was worth all the searching. The food was amazing. But the best part is: THEY HAVE A SEPARATE NO-ONION NO-GARLIC MENU. I’ve never ever in my whole life seen one. I was still so happy and relaxed after my massage, when I saw this menu, I kid not, my eyes actually teared up. I almost cried. This was the second time I fell in love tonight.

All good things must come to an end, however. Tonight after we came home, our water was not working. I’m not sure what’s wrong, but it’s kaput, hopefully just for tonight. It was trickling at first, so I soaped up, and then, it came to a halt. I had to finish my shower with a bottle of water. Not a big deal, but it reminded me I’m still in Cambodia.

On Friday the school is getting a very special visitor. I’ll write about it then. You can ask me if you’re really that interested, but I just can’t put it out there until after the fact. I’m not trying to be obtuse. Also, I can see who actually reads this still!

This weekend Jam, Adam, Lucy and I are going to go for a bike ride to Western Baray – a temple outside of town that is in the middle of a giant (man-made) lake from the 14th century. I can’t wait!

Bethany Shondark Murphy, Contributor

So Elsewhere would like to give a big welcome to our new (and first) blogger in Asia, Bethany Shondark Murphy. She will be reporting the “nitty gritty” details of her year-long stay in Cambodia.

Bethany is a dear friend of mine from The Beacon School where we connected through our similar witty, leftist, political views and sarcastic banter.

Though she once professed her undying love of Howard Dean, Bethany now identifies as “a conservative, a Jew, a history major (interested in genocide), a baseball lover, and a Zionist.” I guess we should also say welcome to our first neo-libertarian writer at So Elsewhere!

So stay tuned for Bethany’s blogs from Cambodia! We are excited to hear her stories.

Also check out her blog at www.bethanyshondark.com or her political blog www.rightsideofthewrong.com